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The Loss of a Father One Month Later

So, one month ago today my dad passed away. I know this is a subject that some people get uncomfortable with but I think for both my sake and the sake of possibly helping one other person through the loss of a parent I thought that I would share something about it.

Let’s start with the crappy part, it is the HARDEST thing that I have ever had to go through! Period! The amount of sadness, hurt, and pain was unimaginable! These words don’t even explain. Maybe one of the most difficult parts of it all is that you can’t just call and say “hi” or you cannot get advice on a problem you were having or even call to just tell him how the NFL is so much better than the CFL.

There are a few things that I learned in going through the loss of my dad:

  • Cherish every moment you have with your loved ones. I did not expect to lose my dad at the age of 36 and have to admit, I did go through the “I never got to say this” or “we never got to do that”. But, I do cherish the 36 years we had together on this earth and I know that he is looking down on me/us right now smiling at life still going on.

  • Talking and crying about it is OK, in your own time. I have gone through times of thinking about him all the time and times that I am just at peace with the fact he is gone. I am sure that memories will come flowing back to me at certain times but I know because of how sick he was that he is in a better more peaceful place now.

  • Don’t sweat the small stuff. This is very hard for me being a perfectionist, but the most you can say is, “in the grand scheme of things does this really matter right now?” I know that I still have work to do with this and I think Heather would agree more than you know, but really does it matter? I have a great family of my own, an awesome job that I love to go to every day and a roof over my head, and what else could I need?

  • Be proud of where you came from and of the people who helped you along the way. I don’t think that I said enough to my dad how much I appreciated who he was. He had 200 people at his funeral with so many people saying amazing things about him. That got me thinking “what will my funeral be like?” I hope to make half the impression on life that my dad made, he was a person that was selfless, smart, considerate, kind and was very well respected. I hope to have people say those types of things when my time on this earth is coming to an end!

As I was taking my kids to their day-home today Emsley said to me, “Grandpa is in heaven with Molly looking down on us and taking care of us, making sure we eat all our food, and that we are nice to other people…” you are right Emsley, he is looking down on us and taking care of us! I miss you dad!

If you are going through the loss of a parent and even just want to talk, I am here to talk. I know it sometimes just helps to get it out!

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